Try Again.

I don't know how or why I got this way. But it's funny [x
I ventured out or just came to terns with cussing out people.
It's quite hilarious, I realized that I can't hide it if you piss me off.
I'm blunt and a bitch at that matter. Hah.
I have/had much to do for prom. most of it is done, so I'm gladdd.
Until than, I'm sit back and chill <3
I'm doing pretty good.

A Reminder.

I could not yet find what my heart desires. What is present now is what lacks of what I will. I've spoken up countless of times and it has been ignored. And yet I can't figure out why I cannot let go. The warmth you bring me is what makes my heart cold. I run to you, with no questions asked. Even though I know the outcome, I still choose you to be my savior. I've always loved you unconditionally and that is where I find my mistakes. You were always above me, I could not bring myself to love myself before you. I could not bring myself to hate you for the hurt you bring upon me. For the lack of my humility, I only choose to fight harder. You've always left me in the most harsh of times, but you've never looked back to realize how much you meant to me. The things we've been through cannot be recreated or replaced. The more I go on, the more I realize how unhappy I am without you. You've always chosen to come back to me though, when I needed you most. When all that mattered was that you had me in your arms. I grew stronger under your care, I accomplished so much with your help.

late night blogs.

Rock me with your love, hold me with your warmth.. be there when I need you most. The fate between you and I is unclear and uncertain for the most part. But the heart wants what it wants. Countless of sleepless nights. Headaches & heartaches all start to feel the same. It's just pain. So how do I save myself? A way out of it just seems like it's too good to be true. Everything started as a fairytale and ended in a shamble. The path I had chosen took me in circles and yet here I am again. Waiting and hoping that one day the fairytale would return. To people it only proves their theories of my naivety. But to me, it proves the endless bound of love. To love someone is the most powerful gift in my eyes, and once that is taken away, everything goes along with it. Love is among two people who cherish each other without judgment. To love is to trust, to have strength, to compromise, to have faith. But if one of those things are broken, than the two people stay two people.

Sometimes I wish for things to be okay again, or at least in my perspective. At times, I don't know who to turn to or what to do. There isn't anyone who would listen or someone I know who won't judge me. I don't know who would just let me cry and scream. I need comfort, I need stability. Everyone's up and left me, and I can't restore that security anymore. I don't know who to trust or who's real. Everyone just knows bits and pieces of me, but no one will ever understand who I truly am or what's knawing at me. I've locked myself in this bubble and that's the only comfort I can find. But I feel so alone. When it comes down to it, my heart is shattered... each piece leaving with the person who broke me. Shouldn't I be happy? My birthday's coming up, and I only feel more stress. I only feel more hurt. How could I keep loving someone who doesn't love me back? How do I walk away when I all I want to do is hold on to the memories? I'm running out of energy. I can't keep enduring this. I just want to get away, I need a break. please.

It's been about three months since I've lost the person I loved for two years. Two years I will never get back, and two years I believe was worth living. After all this time, I wish I could say that I was over it. But I'm not. It's difficult to move on. It's difficult to forget. I can't seem to function the same, I have more of a facade. Is it wrong, that I still believe? Is it wrong, that I think we are actually meant to be together? I feel so remorseful. I loved and I lost. I can't even believe it. It all happened so fast. It was Valentines.... and then later during the week.... it didn't matter anymore. What could I do now? I'm so heartbroken.

You have this inability to treat me like a human.
It's quite odd actually because you say it's out of love?
I don't really think so.
You have the ability to strip me of my dignity.
You have the ability to take away my strength.
You have the ability to make me cry & feel stupid.




& afterall has happened, I can't make myself hate you.
-___________- i'm so stupid.



lying catches up to you.
trust me.
ive been there, now as a matter of fact.
im so sorry. i need to become a better person.

Sometimes I try too hard. Sometimes I receive nothing in return. I'm drowned in you, but you could care less about how I feel. Even as my best friend, you fail so miserably. I am living in a memory of the OLD YOU. I'm sorry for who you've become. I feel awful for you. I feel saddened by the thought that you cannot see the deceptions in people. I feel ashamed that you can see pass my love and only see the bitterness. But that's where it ends. The bitter fights & lonely nights. I have never had to try this hard to just be someone's friend. I'd expect some effort back. Your not the king of the world and you aren't what you think yourself to be. Stop thinking so highly of yourself.

I think this was the last time I was truly happy.


If I could... could forget him
I would... please believe me
And I know that I should throw the towel in
But baby it's not... not that easy
You treat me so much better than him
And if I was sane there'd be no competition
But I'm in love with someone else
And I'm so sorry
I'm in love with another man
And I know it aint right
You should go and find someone else
Who can treat you right
Give you the world
Someone who understands the man you are
Baby you shine so bright
And I would just dim your star
A girl who'll treat you like you treat them
Boy I know there's plenty women
Who would love to have a man like you
But I'm in love with someone else...
I'm so sorry baby
I know I aint right... no no no no no no
For what I did to you baby.

In love with another man by Jazmine Sullivan.



I'm sorry to EVERYONE.
Please stop chasing after me, I'm not ready.
I won't be able to care for you the way you want me to.