All of me is not present, because all of me wants to disappear. I’m being pushed far. High and low. There is distance between people I am close to, you might not notice it. But I do. It makes me feel alone and at last I have nothing left to do except for break down. I feel like I’m driving down a winding road and I’ve finally spun out of control. Everything is against me, almost. When is it time that I realize that I need real help? When is it time that you realize my pain is unbearable, that my daily functioning has now been corrupted. That my cries have turned into screams and that what is thought as life has become a nightmare.

I remember now.
I remember why I my heart asks for so much attention. I don't speak of it loudly, but my heart always calls for it. I can't be alone. Every time I seek for a helping hand, no one is there. Every time I cry, no one is there. Every time I honestly and truly have a break down, it's always someone new coming to my rescue. Why can't these people be constant? When I'm sad, you'd think I'd be able to call anyone right? But how come I didn't? How come it can't be them? Why can't I do it?

Dear stranger,

I’m asking you to take my hand
I won’t make you & I won’t demand.
But if you could find it in your heart,
you’d hold me close & never depart.
I’m so used to being left alone
so please tell me I’m not on my own.

If I presented my life in a form of a book, each page would be drenched in tears. Each chapter would tell you a story of my misfortune and pain. But how do I write down these events, if it only continues to bring me sorrow? When will my eyes run dry because it's getting harder and harder to breathe. I don't know when to let someone in and I don't know how to let someone go. Because each time someone leaves, it feels like they're taking away another part of me.

i'm breaking at the seams.

Sky.

It's a shame how my words cannot be placed into the kind of context that can describe every emotion running through my body. I cannot begin to explain how I feel or want to feel. I can remember so much, every word, every touch, every look. And even now, when you say the things you do, it feels right. I remember it all.


Don't forget me.

Remember this? From you.
She flows in the wind and drowns in the sea
She texts up a storm just to talk to me
It's funny how I'm on her mind most of the time
And talking to me isn't a waste of her mind[i hope]
She is spunky 4'11'' tall all in all
Her Personality is taller than her
She Lays in bed with her bunny hat
Laughing at how weird she is
She smile just like she deserves too
And tries to wink how chinky can she be.

She sleeps under the covers and wake up poofy haired
And the first thing she does is to turn on the computer just to stare.
She waits for me just to get on the computer too
And the first thing she says is " Boo<3"
All day and everyday we talk about nothing
But at the end of the night we think it's something
We talk until the A.M.
And we rest and we do it all over again
If i can change a thing i wouldn't
Because she's happy just like i wanted.

No one understands.
sadly.