I feel crazy.

The stories being told and the stories being heard.. took a dramatic toll on me. It took me to a place, only I could understand. I felt a rush of anger and hurt, but yet here I am blaming myself for the things that happened. Blaming myself for the broken heart of two people. I cannot bring myself to hate him, nor to accept that he hates me. I want things to change, I just want my best friend back. I don't want to deal with his antics, nor keep putting myself down for his wrong doing. I've placed myself in a higher place last night. I felt strong and so ready to walk away, but I had no idea how to. I can't walk away when I feel like he's the only one that's left. Last night was one of the best nights I had in my life, even knowing that we didn't do much. It was soothing, and I felt as if I was above the clouds. I can't believe it.